I am a soon-to-be dad. I am looking forward to it, and we have prepared as best we can.
However, one thought is nagging me.
I have finished my bachelors degree in computer science, and I am onset to start my master degree in the fall.
However, I have very little job experience. I have decent grades, enjoy studying and have held a TA position. But I have never worked in a CS-related role professionally and do not consider myself a very good "developer".
I am afraid that I will not be able to work as good (or long) as my peers on school, or on side projects and internships; and that, due to my lack of experience, will have future employers turn me down.
I don't know; maybe I am a bit too pessimistic. I am based in Scandinavia for reference.
Anyone with experience having a child, before your career took off? Or similarly, while in school?
Any advice or words upon the matter is appreciated.
Best wishes, Lasse.
The points me and my wife agreed on:
1) It takes a lot of time and energy to raise children, and there's more of both when young
2) Fertility drops sharply in 30s, and we could miss the window altogether. Also the odds of complications goes up
3) You can work as hard as you like after the kids grow up
4) Paying for college will be tougher, but my parents were able to do it
At 40, nearly everyone at my level of seniority has at least one child and they don't fault us for having them. We've all lost sleep over the baby, and we all understand that having a child younger than 2 is highly unproductive, but it gets better and most of the time they do a fine enough job that everyone forgets they have kids.
Hope it helps!
Value-wise, I would describe myself as more family-oriented than career-oriented.
I guess I am just worrying about finding a decent job along the road, also to provide for said family.
Thanks.
Recent graduates often underestimate what really matters to employers, Stability.
Obviously I'm not expecting people to necessarily stay 40 years in the company, but it costs a lot of time effort and money to add a new person to the team. I'd like you to hang around a bit to make that worth it.
Having children makes fathers less "flighty". You're less obsessed with "building a resume" and more interested in the stability of the paycheck, stress-free working environment and so on.
Yes, you'll still leave for a better job, more pay and so on. But it'll be more calculated and less impulsive. Which gives us more opportunity to match your needs with my needs.
In other words the maturity you learn at home translates into more maturity in the office as well.
When interviewing for jobs, lean into words like maturity, responsibility, stability and so on. These things matter.